I just returned from Paris, France, where ASI senior vice president and I spent the weekend after the fabulously successful PSI Show in Dusseldorf.
France is my favorite place in the world, and Paris is my favorite city, so the cloud of snark and sass that usually envelopes me dissipated, and I was in my giddy, glorious happy place. The food, the wine, the architecture, the haute fashion and hot guys with those knee-weakening accents… Mon Dieu!
Rich and I stayed in this tres cool boutique place called Mon Hotel www.monhotel.fr, owned by a good friend of my good friend Philippe Varnier, CEO of Polyconcept — the parent company of Leed’s, Bullet Line and Journal Books, and the largest hard goods supplier of ad specialties in the world. Mon Hotel sells out for the French Open and Fashion Week, with the best athletes and top models staying there. The decor is very chic and very French — the walls in the rooms papered in suede and the elevator, lined with red leather. In fact, up until a few years ago, the hotel was the site of Paris’ most well-known — and best — brothel. Giving a whole new meaning to the phrase, “going out with a bang, not a whimper.” ; )
See below for an array of amazing photos from Paris. Next up on Michele’s Amazingly Excellent Adventures is the PPACanada Show in Toronto. Let me know if you’ll be there. And for all my friends at the PPAI Vegas Show who have been calling/texting/e-mailing, I miss you too! More next week…
Cheers!
— M
Patrick Politze, CEO of the European Promotional Products Association (EPPA), addresses a crowd of journalists from around the world to signal the opening of the 47th PSI Düsseldorf Show. Second from the left, seated, is Michael Freter, the new managing director of PSI — a super nice and supremely capable guy. The show was fantastic, and at this press conference, survey data was released on the state of the European market. To find more information, go to www.psionline.de.
An example of a booth that does it right: Gildan displayed its new shirts under Plexiglas, making for a very unusual floor in its booth. Not only did that draw attendee attention, but at the end of the first day, they served Italian wine, meats and cheeses to guests. Trust me on this, in Europe, exhibiting is like an art form.
Here, Miranda Rodenburg, Polyconcept’s top-selling salesperson in the Netherlands, spends some time with CEO Philippe Varnier. Philippe tells me that Miranda beats her own sales figures every year (impressive in a down economy), and is so passionate about her customers, that she advocates on their behalf as if they were her own children.
Rich Fairfield, ASI’s senior vice president/publisher and my boss, loved these little chili pepper buttons on this restaurant uniform. Another version had little skulls for buttons.
I loved these designated “Relaxing Zone” signs around the PSI Show floor, which indicated rest areas. The show was so busy, however, they were rarely in use. I should have gotten one for my office back at ASI, which is most definitely a “Procrastinating Zone.”
Some of ASI’s magazines on display in the Relaxing Zone, so people could check them out. Due to ASI’s strategic partnership with PSI, they were so graciously accommodating and welcoming to Rich, Ron Ball and I. To them, I say Danke Soviel!
Some of you have asked about the Polyconcept “hotel boats” on which Rich and I are nicely invited to stay every year. Well, here they are. Because Polyconcept brings so many staff people to work it’s 20,000 square foot (yes, you’re reading that right!) booth, usually between 150-200 people, they bring in these boats on which everyone sleeps and eats, and which is docked right near the convention center. It cuts down on the cost of hotel rooms, meals and taxis, with one boat for the staff and one for top clients, guests and the executive team. With restaurants, bars, an exercise room and a concierge, it has everything you could want — even life jackets should you get tipsy and fall into the Rhine.
Willem van Walt Meijer, the new CEO of MidOcean, the second-largest hard-goods supplier in Europe, after Polyconcept.
As an example of how intricate the booths at the European shows can be, check out this one from Koziol. And I would say this is moderate compared to some…
When Rich and I arrived into Paris on Friday night, we had dinner with my friend Yann Leca, the ever-charming CFO of Polyconcept and his lovely wife Severine, shown here. They took us to a fabulous restaurant called “Les Ombres“, atop the Primitive Art Museum at Quai Branly, on the left bank of the Seine river, next to the Eiffel Tower. The stunning view was only exceeded by the amazing company.
Here’s me, Severine and Yann, on the restaurant’s terrace with the Eiffel Tower as the backdrop. When you’re surrounded by something as spectacular as this, realize just what a sublime place Paris really is.
Rich, me, Severine and Yann… because you just can’t have enough great photos in front of the Eiffel Tower!
On Saturday afternoon, Philippe’s assistant of 14 years, Marie-Francoise Boulenger, took me to the Musee d’Orsay and the Louvre. It was an amazing day and Marie-Francoise, who is a fifth-generation Parisian, was the best host one could ask for, but towards the end I was getting a little tired. Right before we left, I turned a corner and came face to face with the Venus de Milo. To which I can only say, thank you, Marie-Francoise, for reintroducing my jaw to the floor.
On Saturday night, Philippe Varnier and his exotic wife Martine (shown here) took Rich and I to a very hip and delicious restaurant called Kube, in which all the food was indeed served in cubed form — except the steak tartar and the chocolate mousse dessert, which were served in little syringes. Literally, you inserted the syringe into your mouth and pushed down on the plunger.
Here’s Rich and I, surrounded by lit bears, to signify the chilly temperature inside the Iced Kube bar, atop the Kube restaurant.
As a special surprise, Philippe took Rich and I to the Ice Kube bar above the Kube restaurant. Once we climbed the stairs, we were each given parkas, gloves and fur hoods, to allow for the below-zero temperatures. You see, the bar was sponsored by Grey Goose (cue the sounds of celestial trumpets and angels singing) vodka, my favorite of all drinks, and everything in it was made of ice — the floors, walls, chairs, cups. Once you were parka’d up, you were given access through an igloo entrance. Here’s Rich, looking shell-shocked…
Philippe Varnier, Polyconcept’s CEO, entering the ice igloo on the way to Grey Goose heaven.
I quickly decided that when I die, I want to be frozen into one of the walls at this bar — like a preserved woolly mammoth — smiling and holding a Grey Goose cosmopolitan, so that will be my image in perpetuity.
Philippe and Rich, getting in touch with their inner-Eskimos.
Rich, holding court in an ice chair, drinking his second Grey Goose cocktail. It should be noted that neither Philippe or Rich are the streamlined drinker I am, so by the time we left, they were “happy,” to say the least. In fact, as we exited the restaurant, we all noticed the luminous full moon… at which Philippe and Rich both HOWLED in unison. And no, I kid you not. Let it never be said that I — and my precious Grey Goose — don’t have a potent affect on men. ; )
Click above to see a video of the Ice Kube bar in Paris, where the temperature is about 10 degrees below zero, the floors, walls, chairs and cups are made of ice and where they give you a parka, gloves and a furry hood to wear before you enter. The bar is sponsored by France’s Grey Goose vodka (my favorite!), and each visitor gets four Goose-based drinks, such as cosmopolitans and lemon drops, while visiting. In this video, Polyconcept’s CEO and industry celeb Philippe Varnier jumps around to stay warm. You’ll understand… I get cold just watching this… ; )
As I type this in the last remaining days of 2008, I’m full of hope and optimism. Yeah, there’s the fact that we’ll soon have a president who uses three-syllable words without making us cringe and knows that the Bill of Rights isn’t a list of suggestions. But in addition to that, I’ve always been a fan of that clean slate feeling you get at the start of a brand new year — like shaking an Etch-a-Sketch that erases all the crappy, idiotic things you’ve done throughout the previous one. And while I’ve never been one to ponder things pensively in retrospect (I’m more of a “let’s get on with it and move forward” kind of girl), I do have some resolutions for 2009, most of which I will have selectively ignored in roughly two weeks.
1. Stop procrastinating. To be clear, there are few tasks that I don’t put off until the very last possible minute. There’s probably some clinical, psychological term for this, though Joe Haley, the managing editor of ASI’s magazines, has his own description for the special brand of hell it causes him when my magazine is in production or a profile I’m writing isn’t finished as we’re literally going to the printer the next day: “When you’re on deadline,” Joe sighs, “a little piece of me dies every day.” Rather than work on a profile for an issue of Counselor, I once WILLINGLY watched a marathon of “The Hills,” that insipid reality show on MTV, starring mentally deficient pretty people in all their vapid, moronic glory. It was an eight-hour marathon and I watched it all. I know… I need to be under the care of a whole team of mental health professionals.
2. Get organized and prioritize. Instead of methodically tackling one project at a time, my strategy is more akin to a drunken baby wielding a shotgun and firing off scattered rounds. I jump from project to project, until the end of the day when I have different items in various states of completion. I’m sure I have some ADD/OCD/ADHD issues that keep me from concentrating for any length of time for which I should seek medicinal relief — and God knows I’m not opposed to pills — but it just seems so, I don’t know, trendy to blame one’s inability to focus on some sort of short-circuiting brain waves. Crazy I can deal with; cliche is another story….
3. Be better at keeping in touch with friends. To say I’ve been remiss in this area is putting it mildly. You know what it’s like — deadlines, travel, endless happy hours… and then the year’s over. I sent my Goddaughter a card last month wishing her a “Happy 13th Birthday!” That’s all well and good, except she’s 15 and I was there, in the room, when the child was born. Time flies when you’re being a spaz and not paying attention…
Do you have any juicy resolutions? I’d love to hear them, so please do share! My favorite so far? Michael Bernstein, the vice chairman of Counselor Top 40 supplier Polyconcept and my most beloved of all my BFFs, shared his “greatest weakness and indulgence” with me recently: “Cigarettes and you, Michele.” Here’s hoping he doesn’t give up the latter!
By the way, a hearty thanks to all of you who e-mailed me — after reading of my penchant for “sloth,” one of the deadly sins, in my last blog posting — that the History Channel is featuring a new series, “Seven Deadly Sins” week starting on Monday, 12/29 at 9:00 p.m. EST, spotlighting one sin on each of the seven nights. They have an ironic sense of humor over there at the History Channel — the week kicks off with a bang tonight with “Lust,” “Gluttony” is on New Year’s Eve and my beloved “Sloth” is on New Year’s Day. I will be commemorating the High Holy Day for lazy, self-indulgent people everywhere with some celebratory napping.
So I hope you all have a fabulous 2009 and I look forward to seeing you at upcoming shows! I’ll be at the PSI Dusseldorf Show (Europe’s largest promotional products show — so huge, in fact, that it dwarfs the PPAI Vegas Show) next week, the always-awesome PPACanada Show in Toronto from January 23-27 and the ASI Dallas Show from February 4-6 (one of my favorites), and will be a blogging and photo snapping fiend at each show. If you see me, come over and say hi!
In conclusion, I’d like to think that Hunter S. Thompson, the crazy gonzo journalist, excess-embracing loon and one near and dear to my heart, had it right when considering one’s goals in life: “Maybe it all comes down to this,” Thompson said. “Laughing loud, drinking much, sleeping late, having fun, getting wild and driving fast on empty streets with nothing in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested.”
So here’s to an awesome 2008 and an even better 2009, aptly described with some lyrics from a song that always epitomizes optimism and hope to me, from the musical “Rent,” about a year in a life…
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?How about love?
How about love?
How about love? Measure in love
As we’re in the midst of the holiday season and the year’s almost finished, I’m going to take a page out of Oprah’s book and devote some time to a sampling of the coolest items that wowed me this year and made me swoon — both from in and outside the industry. Unfortunately, unlike Oprah, I won’t be giving away any cars, houses or bras.
So here, without further ado, are my favorite things (note that “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens” didn’t make the cut… ; ) ).
More next week and cheers!
— M
PS: If there were any wow-worthy products that you found this year, post them below — I’d love to see them!
If I was giving out an award for “Most Creative Ad Specialty of 2008,” this would be a lock because it ROCKS. On one side of the plastic card there are perforated guitar picks that can be imprinted with any custom design or logo; the back has room for your name, phone number and e-mail address. How’s that for the coolest businesscard EVER?
Available from Pikcard; (800) 596-7074 (ext. 303); www.pikcard.com
I love that this photo keychain wallet is small enough to be unobtrusive but dainty enough to be cute. As I don’t have children (something that causes scores of people to cheer) I could put a photo of each of my kittens — Monkey and Mouse — in these heart-shaped photo slots. Well, if not for the fact that my editorial colleague Joe Haley, the star of The Joe Show, staunchly maintains that I’m only six months away from being a full-blown Crazy Cat Lady, “dressing them up in doll clothes and having weirdo little tea parties.”
Available from Express Pens (asi/53411); www.expresspens.com
I can talk the ears off corn, but for some people, making conversation — especially at a networking event where you don’t know anyone — is the equivalent of gargling with shards of glass. These cards, though, make it easy. They ask personal questions (“What movie made you laugh until you cried?” My answer: The Birdcage), business questions (“What would you like to add to your job description?” My answer: Maintain a consistent napping schedule), and even custom questions that can be created for your company, which are sure to get people talking.
Available from Custom Topics (404) 815-0272; www.customtopics.net
The excessive bling surrounding this travel mug just screams “diva,” which is exactly what this diva does when she doesn’t get her way. I love that you could be drinking your favorite beverage and simultaneously check to make sure that your lipstick isn’t smeared like a demonic, crazy clown.
Available from Berney-Karp Inc. (asi/40261); www.ceramic-source.com
From Selco’s “Hard Core” line of edgy, street-inspired timepieces, the “Flaming Ice” is just so rock star cool. Using three-dimensional casting, authentic mother-of-pearl, Swarovski crystals, diamonds and white steel, this wearable work of art is signed and serialized by the artist, Steve Soffa.
Available from Selco (asi/86230); www.selcotime.com
From the company I’ve adored — for a multitude of reasons — since I first started in the industry, this combination iPod docking/charging station, mini-stereo, AM/FM radio and alarm clock works with all iPods (including iPhones) and some MP3 players. The alarm clock features snooze/sleep functions (which those who embrace sloth as I do just love…), three alarm settings and a detachable remote control that operates the snooze function and iPod/MP3 player.
Available from Leed’s (asi/66887); www.leedsworld.com
I have a lot of fun toys in my office, which attracts co-workers to come in and play — they compare it to “Wonkaville” or Fantasy Land. This unique note holder just adds to the mix.
Available from PromoBiz (asi/79903); www.promobizusa.com
Oh, let me count the ways I love Lexon, a Paris-based industry supplier. Quite simply, its products are so beautifully designed they make me want to weep. I learned about Lexon years ago, when I traveled to Paris in 2000 with some Norwood friends to see the debut of Lexon’s new line and to be there when its iconic “Tykho” rubber radio (shown here) — which had just scored the cover of Time magazine’s “Design” issue — was inducted into the Louvre as one of the “Best Designed Products of the 20th Century.” Since then, when I see Lexon’s items at the PSI shows in Dusseldorf or Paris, I make a beeline to the booth, find the company’s impossibly-charming owner, Rene Adda, and worship at the altar of his breathtakingly-designed offerings. As I consider every one of their items to be an objet d’art, just check out their swanky Web site, www.lexon-design.com, and prepare to be wowed.
I am a huge fan of Swarovski’s jewelry line and consequently love any product that uses its crystals as embellishments. Here are two: a delicate jeweled box covered in crystals and a singular sparkler discreetly placed in one of the most stylish pens I’ve ever coveted.
Available from Logomark (asi/67866); www.logomark.com
This just brings me back to the days of frivolous fun, when all it took was Sea Monkeys, pet rocks and invisible dogs to make me giggle with delight. Will this Magic 8 ball, which can be fully custom imprinted on its surface, amuse the frak out of anyone who receives it? “The outlook is good… .”
Available from Prime Line (asi/79530); www.primeline.com
As the joke goes here in the editorial department, my partying has taken such a toll on my looks (so says my mother, Judge Judye) that I have to spackle on my make-up with a putty knife. This fashion-forward cosmetics and toiletries bag is large enough for all my smoke-and-mirrors tricks of the trade. Just avoid looking at me in direct sunlight…
Available from Gemline (asi/56070); www.gemline.com
If you know me, you know that I’d rather have my spleen removed with a soup spoon than deal with math on any level. This Hydraulic calculator has such a whimsical bubbly shape that it numbs the pain of interacting with numbers for me. It features a calendar, month, time, time zone display, world time for 16 cities and two alarms, a robotic “open” slide and comes in metallic blue (my favorite) and silver.
Available from Dard Products Inc. (asi/48500); www.tagmaster.net
One of the (many) banes of my existence is how my jewelry — especially my necklaces — gets tangled together. This sleek and sexy jewelry stand is the perfect, unique remedy.
Available from Steel Threads (asi/89475); www.steelthreads.com
This handy pill carousel is the perfect item for those near and dear to me here at ASI who have to deal with my antics, listen to the nonsense that flies out of my mouth on a daily basis, and self-medicate with Advil (or stronger) because of it. This list of long-suffering souls includes, but is not limited to: Every member of the editorial department, but especially Joe Haley, Andy Cohen and Melinda Ligos; in-house tech geek Jeremy Young; senior Web developer Samantha Tucker (the saint who posts these voluminous blog manifestos for me), COO Vince Bucolo; senior vice president Rich Fairfield; and last but certainly not least, president/CEO Tim Andrews. Help ease their pain with this bright white pill case with a translucent blue lid and seven compartments to hold a week’s worth of medications. The wheel rotates at the push of a button and there’s a combination lock to discourage sharing.
Available from Sweda (asi/90305); www.swedausa.com
When I saw this, I thought, “that is just one of the most unique ideas, even if it’s something I wouldn’t use.” Why wouldn’t I? Because I’m more of a soaking-in-a-hot-bubble-bath kind of girl. This item is ideal for local governments, hotels, eco-groups, water companies or anyone touting the conservation of natural resources through limiting one’s shower to five minutes.
Available from All-In-One (asi/34256); www.allinoneline.com
Want to bring the bling? Do it in over-the-top style with this rhinestone-studded dogtag, shown here in a Sex and the City design. My crazy chica pal Julie Ditchik (that’s “Jules” to you and me…) gave this to me at the SAAC Show in Long Beach this past August and I cherish it!
Available from Pinnacle Designs (asi/78140); www.pinnacledesigns.com
And now, some items for the degenerate in us all (or at least the people to whom I gravitate). When the economy goes bad, sin is in, my little heathens — though in Michele World, it always has a place of honor. Here then, are some gift suggestions for those of us who know the special pleasures of being bad… ; )
In case you didn’t know it, music begins and ends with the Rolling Stones in my book. I stand in awe of Mick’s ability — in his mid-60s — to strut around the stage like a chicken in little leather pants singing lyrics like “I used to be your rooster, now I’m just your c**k” and truly believe that miracles do exist, if for no other reason than the fact that Keith — looking remarkably simian, like he’s de-evolving — abides. Throw my love of The Stones together with my love of wine and you have quite the potent combination for revelry and mayhem. This company’s offering of Rolling Stones wine, available in many different types (Chardonnay, Pinot, etc.), all feature the notorious tongue and lips logo that was first introduced on the band’s classic 1971 album “Sticky Fingers” — the one whose cover had a photo of pants with a real zipper that actually unzipped at the crotch and that was the first album I bought, at the age of 13, much to my mother’s profound horror. The Classic Tongue “brand” perfectly captures the unabashed hedonism of the World’s Greatest Rock ‘N Roll Band.
Available from Celebration Cellars (asi/44366); www.celebrationcellars.com
And speaking of The Stones, one of my favorite songs from the Glimmer Twins is their ode to “Mother’s Little Helpers.” This whimsical “Quaaludes” cookie jar is from the hip and haute housewares designer Jonathan Adler, often featured in Vogue and a judge on Bravo TV’s “Top Design.” His tongue-in-cheek stance is to embrace excess with one of his candid canisters — perfect as gifts for all your wicked friends and favorite psychopharmacologists. Offered in black & white and powder blue & chocolate stripes (the version that currently sits in my office), this comes in other hilarious variations (“Downers,” “Uppers,” “Dolls”) and is ideal for when you’re beyond denial and want to stash in style.
Available from Jonathan Adler: www.jonathanadler.com
As the saying goes, one person’s virtue is another person’s vice. However, thanks to Captain Buzzkill — Pope Gregory I — we’re all saddled with perpetual guilt surrounding the Seven Deadly Sins: Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride. Now, while I’m sure I commit each of these on a daily basis, I’d like to take a moment to give a special shout-out to the one I hold near and dear to my heart: Sloth. If I’m riding the Highway to Hell, I’d like it to be because of my prodigious laziness. And though the sins remind me of that supremely creepy Brad Pitt/Morgan Freeman/Kevin Spacey movie Seven (guest-starring Gwyneth Paltrow’s boxed head), I still crave this “Seven Deadly Sins” gift set from D.L. & Co. Lighting the candles would be like paying homage to my Id.
Available from Gift Genius www.giftgenius.com
I’m leaving tomorrow morning to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with my family, who have a home in Sanibel, Florida. While I will be reveling in the warm weather and limiting my mother, Judge Judye (again, she doesn’t preside over trials, but she is judgemental, in that special way moms can be… ; ) ) to three nags per day, I wanted to share with you photos from ASI’s first annual “Roaring ’20s” Cabaret night. An aside: I really don’t know if this will be a yearly event — it’s more just me being hopeful in case the Powers that Be (that’s you, Tim Andrews!) are reading…
With “bootleg” cocktails, gangster hats, feather boas and flappers in abundance, I can tell you that this event — hosted by president/CEO Tim Andrews and ASI’s “Fun Committee,” was one for the books. Now, for those of you who know me, I’m not the type of girl to be overly-effusive, but I had a BLAST! (And not just because wine was involved…).
The evening was hosted by American Idol finalist Justin Guarini, who could not have been a more gracious, engaging host, and featured some of ASI’s best in-house “talent” singing karaoke. Justin, incidentally, is the spokesperson for industry supplier BamBam’s (asi/38228) trademarked “Rollabana” so he’s already “in the know” about the ad specialty business.
Here, then, are a wide variety of photos — the good, the bad and the disturbing (you’ll know it when you see it, but it involves my tongue hanging out of my mouth like a hungry basset hound). It will definitely explain why people truly enjoy working at ASI, and why many — including myself — stayed for so many years.
Happy Thanksgiving and more next week!
Cheers!
— M
With hundreds of ASI employees in attendance, the company’s first-ever Cabaret Night was a “roaring” awesome time.
(From left): Web designer Steve Hawk, the man working the soundboard for ASI Radio with the skill of Brian Eno, and Craig Veltri, senior Web designer for ASICentral.com, get their gangster on.
Sometimes, the quiet ones are the best surprises… Jason Cissorsky, whom I’ve had the pleasure of seeing sing karaoke to the elegant and refined, “I’m Too Sexy for Your Hat, Too Sexy for Your Cat,” wowed the crowd with his rollicking rendition of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” And for his fabulous efforts — which included a festive jig during the song’s famed instrumental segues — he won “Best Solo” for the night.
Mike Morris leads a bevy of back-up singers to a rousing rendition of Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline.”
(From left): ASI Show advertising coordinator, the one and only Karen Wynn and exhibitor accounts manager Kristen Metzner showing off their miles of smiles.
If there was a prize for snappiest attire, this guy would have won it, hands down.
Amanda Swartz belts out “Black Velvet,” which garnered her the Grand Prize.
Here’s Rich, rocking out to “Addicted to Love.” Just so you know, this is exactly the expression he has on his face when he tries to locate me at shows and has to bellow my name in random bars… ; )
Rich Fairfield, ASI’s senior vice president, publisher and my beloved boss [read: He has a high-tolerance for my bulls**t and antics], emulating the best-dressed man in rock, Robert Palmer, doing “Addicted to Love.” Behind him, as the ever-stoic though supremely sexy chorus line, are (from left): managing editor Joan Chaykin, editor-in-chief Melinda Ligos, director of ESPOnline Candace Hershey and my girl Dana Reaume (LOVE her!!!), ASI’s professional development coordinator. Rich wanted me up on stage, though I declined because I have legs like a corgi.
I love the composition of this shot, taken by my pal Jason Kuttner, of managing editor Joan Chaykin and my boss, ASI publisher Rich Fairfield, during his karaoke rendition of Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love.”
Tim Andrews, making a definitive point — which is not always easy to do while donning a boa… LOL).
ASI president, CEO and kissing bandit Tim Andrews, shown here with the lovely and talented Jessica Fletcher, ASI’s electronic communications coordinator.
One of ASI’s newer charismatic personalities, meet Lori Cohen, shown here on the left, singing a bringing-down-the-house performance of “Nine to Five.”
Michelle Motz and Rob Fiorello took the prize for “Keep Your Day Job” (they had a lot of competition).
Jim Maratea, ASI’s building operations manager, belts out “Born to Be Wild,” a sentiment both he and I share…
My pal Jessica Fletcher, left, shown here with editorial staff writer (and Joe Haley’s “bromance” BFF) Matt George and managing editor Joan Chaykin.
ASI’s distributor sales manager Stan Fellerman, shown here with the lovely Mary Laycock, Dale Denham’s assistant. And for that reason alone, Mary should have had at least three drinks… ; )
Barbara Ambrose, executive assistant to senior vp/publisher Rich Fairfiled, looking fabulous flapper attire. Barbara rocks, and is one of the people who helped decorate for Cabaret Night… Twenty-three skiddo, Barbara!
ASI’s CEO & president, Tim Andrews — proudly sporting a boa — welcomes everyone to ASI’s first Cabaret Evening.
Dale Denham (right) pulled me up on stage to get a photo of the two of us with Justin Guarini. Look at me in the center… I appear to be from the Land of Lilliput.
(From left): Advantages editor Kathy Huston, editor-in-chief Melinda Ligos and associate editor Jen Zorger, all my super-awesome editorial chickies. Interestingly, they are like an ascending scale of loud — Jen being the quietest and Kathy, well, being Homeric.
ASI’s editor-in-chief Melinda Ligos and president/CEO Tim Andrews raise lit candles in support of an encore from Joe Haley.
(From left) Donna Brauning, Tim Andrews’ executive assistant, Joe “The Crooner” Haley and I. I consider it a personal accomplishment that my tongue remained firmly planted in my head.
Editor-in-chief Melinda Ligos and ASI senior vice president and publisher Rich Fairfield, both of whom I report to and both of whom have compared managing me to “attempting to control the wind.” Next time you see them at a show, buy them a sympathy shot.
The tongue wag that launched a thousand “icks.” Here’s me, on the left, inexplicably looking as though I’m going to lick poor Joe Haley, shown here with Melinda Ligos, like taffy. I think if that keeps up, my little Joe-Joe may slap me with a TRO… ; )
Joe Haley, with his tumbler and cigarette props, could be a founding member of the Rat Pack. If only he had the smooth-as-silk way with the ladies…. ; )
Joe Haley, shown here with his new BFF Justin Guarini. Word has it that Joe plans to let his hair “sprout” just like Justin’s! Can. Not. Wait.
And here, my friends, is where the evening took a decidedly wacky left turn… Joe Haley, ASI’s managing editor, star of The Joe Show and one of the three people at ASI who can tell me to “Shush” without fear of evisceration (the other two — in case you were curious — are Christian Brandt, ASI’s executive director of distributor services and Jeremy Young, our IT “guru” and my cocktailing partner in crime) sashayed on stage, donning full tux, hat, tumbler of scotch and (unlit) cigarette, to croon Sinatra’s “My Way.” Now, you should know, Joe CANNOT sing one note; however it was his bravado — complete with a hat-toss and cigarette flick into the crowd — that brought down the house. If I haven’t told you lately, Joe-Joe, YOU ROCK.
Tim Andrews playfully hides behind his boa and gives me one hell of a come-hither gaze — so much so that I blushed and got weak-kneed. ; )
Karyn Coates (Executive Director of E-Media and Member Benefits), whom I will maintain to my dying day bears a striking resemblance to the hottie Cylon “Six” on Battlestar Galactica, shown here with Dale Denham, the guy who once lamented to me that he had never made an appearance on my blog. Well, Dale, the ship has sailed on your anonymity! ; )
Candace Hershey, director of ESP and Dale Denham, Senior vice President — separately, they’re characters; together, they are pistols!
Here, ASI’s President’s Council — the group of senior vice presidents who lead the company and report directly to Tim Andrews — yucking it up to “YMCA” by the Village People, led by Rich Fairfield (left) and senior vice president Dale Denham, someone who never met a mic he didn’t like. ; )
Oh, let me count the ways that I love these boys. Both Jason Kuttner (left) and Tim Glen are charter members — along with my pal Jeremy Young — of “The Joy Stick Club,” as I call ASI’s LAN technology department (due to their rabid adoration of video games like “Quake”), but they are so much more. Jason is the life-saver I call when I’m in places like Guangzhou and Hong Kong when my Blackberry (and I) are melting down. And though there’s not much he can do to placate my psycho state, he always knows how to fix the Crackberry. And Mr. Glen, this boy is one of those wicked-smart people who has sick computer skills and basically keeps ASI’s entire internal technology network up and running. Succinctly, he is totally bad-ass. Rock on, Mr. Glen… ; )
American Idol finalist Justin Guarini — and his Very Prominent Hair — hosted the evening’s events that featured 15 karaoke events.
Justin Guarini, breaks out the guitar to accompany marketing manager Kate Malone, a true signing talent who fronts a band. Kate’s choice of karaoke song was Natalie Merchant, one of my favorites.
Hey from Philly, where it’s chilly today but everyone’s on fire reveling in our first World Series win in 28 years! Lots of people are taking the day off to enjoy the celebration parade through downtown Philly, but I’m here, applying red lipstick to my work BFF Joe Haley and brushing his bouffant. (Here he is, in all his glory, with editor-in-chief Melinda Ligos as Daphne from Scooby Doo.) Let me just say this: Joe is not a pretty little lady… .
I’ve only dressed in a Halloween costume at ASI once — last year — and it was so ironic in a disturbing, unnerving way that I don’t think I could ever top it. See photo below…
Exemplifying the concept of “irony at its finest,” this was my costume for last year’s ASI Editorial Department Halloween Contest. And yes, “Sister Sacrilicious” unnerved the hell out of countless colleagues… Christian Brandt, my pal who’s the executive director of distributor services, wouldn’t even stand next to me for fear of lightening striking and, well, eternal damnation.
I’m going to do a blog posting early next week featuring my favorite products of 2008, which I’m gathering now, so stay tuned for that.
In the meantime, though, can I have a moment of your time to regale you with some of the “WTF?” (“What the Frak?”) moments I’ve encountered lately? And yes, I’m well aware that I spend WAY too much time mulling over this nonsense…
1. Recently, my friend Jeremy Young and I went out for cocktails. Jeremy is the one who keeps our e-mails and server functioning at optimum capacity here at ASI and the one I whine to first when something’s wrong with my beloved Blackberry. We’re also big Sci-Fi dorks and political junkies, so our conversations vacillate between the substantive (how and why the next president’s Supreme Court choices will have a monumental impact on our society) and the weapons-grade wacky (who’s the fifth Cylon on Battlestar Galactica and the brilliance of Jean-Luc Picard as a starship commander…). As I’d had one wine over my limit the night we went out, I curled up in the back of my car, wrapped in my fur coat like a cat, to take a nap. Upon waking up, all refreshed, alert and looking fabulous with a nickel stuck to my cheek, I drove to the nearest 24-hour convenience store to get coffee. First, they had no coffee, because second, they had just opened. Twenty-four hour convenience? I think not… Teases.
2. I bought one of GE’s eco-friendly “Energy Smart” lightbulbs last week — you know, the squiggly ones shaped like fusilli pasta — that are supposed to be more efficient and do less harm to the environment. All well and good, except… the decidedly not so eco-friendly over-sized plastic packaging that was so difficult to open, I broke a nail and cut my finger. Consequently, my blue language offset my green efforts. So while I applaud GE’s new lightbulbs and am fascinated by their shape, does the plastic packaging encasing the bulb have to be twice the size? Really?
3. I’m a big fan of Panera for a quick lunch — their broccoli & cheese soup is delish! However, when you order a sandwich — made on their famous thick, crusty bread — they give you a choice of two sides: potato chips or… bread. So I’ll have a side of bread with my bread, please? You gotta love a company that so flagrantly ignores the nutritional pyramid chart.
4. In case you didn’t know, Pennsylvania, a state founded on Quaker ethics and beliefs, has really odd and restrictive laws for selling alcoholic beverages. For example, you can’t buy beer and liquor in the same place, and certainly not in some convenient establishment like a grocery store, where you’re buying other staples. If you want beer you have to go to a beer distributor, where you can only buy beer by the case or keg — no six-packs unless you go to a deli or pizza place; if you want liquor, you go to a liquor store — or “Spirits Shoppe” as some, like my pal Jeremy, call them in an effort to sound less heathen-like. Got it? Now you know why we all drink so much in PA — we’re annoyed and confused…
So, one would naturally think that a PA liquor store would be the model of buttoned-up, conservative propriety. Apparently not. On my weekly pilgrimage (as Jeremy calls it) for supplies, a very nice lady who looked as if she should be presiding over a PTA meeting stood behind a fold-out card table offering patrons samples of Patrone tequila shots and margaritas. “Would you like a couple of shots and a margarita or two, hun?,” she asked me. Two things: First, she served up the sauce under a large sign that said, “Never Drink and Drive.” Now, unless you live in the back room of the liquor store (tempting…), don’t the majority of customers drive?
Second, I had to explain to her that while the offer to throw some tequila back with her was enticing, the chances that she would have to bundle me up in a shopping cart and wheel me home were quite high.
5. A very nice industry apparel supplier I know sent me a super-soft and fashionable T-shirt from one of his new lines as a gift. The problem? The size and cut were made for someone with the body of a 12-year-old gymnast. What’s fascinating to me is that the supplier knows me well and has spent time with me, certainly enough to be familiar with my body type. So while I thank him for the gracious gesture, I would ask that wearables suppliers consider that some chicas have curves and spongy girl parts when sending out sample sizes. ; )
Any brow-furrowing “What the Frak?” moments for you? Feel free to share!
More next week when I share my favorite products of the year!
First, I’d like to thank the uniquely loony Ron Ball, who put down his cocktail shaker long enough to be a guest-blogger for me when I was on vacation. He did a fabulous job and was as deliciously politically incorrect as you would expect from the man who — if you were casting the role of “saucy salesman” — would get a first call back.
Next, as was mentioned on the ASI Radio Show this morning, I became the pet mom of two kittens on Sunday. I’ve always loved animals (which also explains my affinity for many of you!) considerably more than most people — as my mother is quick to point out — and have always been a cat person. I get their independent nature and world-weary haughtiness.
First of all, let me say that I don’t think anyone on the planet can take Michele’s place when it comes to writing – or sporting the trampiest shoes ever, let alone me in my wildest cross-dressing moment. But let me try.
Hope you’re having fun and getting ready for the last party of the summer!
I recently received my September issue of Vogue, and — at a voluminous 798 pages (seriously) — it made my wrist throb as I read it for 20 minutes while sitting on the beach last weekend. It actually hurt to hold the magazine. I should point out that the fall issue is traditionally one of Vogue‘s biggest, but good Lord — the Editor’s Letter (a mainstay at the beginning of every magazine) doesn’t appear until page 312! The advertisers paying a small fortune to appear in the first 311 pages got me thinking. Yes, we’re in a down economy, but clearly there’s still a market for products that make us feel good. Maybe it’s because we’re stuck in such an economic maelstrom. I read an article in the “Money” section of USAToday last week that noted “sin” items — liquor, cigarettes, etc. (or, as I call them, “NECESSITIES”) always surge in a bad economy because people want an escape from dour news.
Here, ASI’s President’s Council — the group of senior vice presidents who lead the company and report directly to Tim Andrews — yucking it up to “YMCA” by the Village People, led by Rich Fairfield (left) and senior vice president Dale Denham, someone who never met a mic he didn’t like. ; )
read more