Baby You Can Drive My Car (But Only If You Give Me a Pen First …)

Filed under: Fun, Personal

Hi Everyone!

Hope you’re all doing well and reveling in the fan-freakin-tastic summer-tease weather we’re having!

Me, I’m loving it for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is that I recently bought a new convertible that I adore. I waited way too long to get a new car because — like 99% of the population (I did a survey — really!) — I’d rather gargle with shards of glass than submit to the car-buying experience. Few things are as laborious or annoying. And silly me, I thought that since I knew the type of car I wanted, it would be an easy process. (Insert eye roll and pained sigh here.)

So, leave it to me to show up on a cold, rainy, dreary day in February to test-drive my beloved convertible. It was coup de foudre (“love at first sight,” as the French say), so I pulled out my checkbook and prepared to pay in full, in cash. I say that not to sound like a diva, but because — in this economy — wouldn’t you think the car dealership would show me a little appreciation and love by way of lavishing ad specialties on me?

Let me end the suspense. Not only did the (very nice) guy who sold me the car fail to offer me any promo items with the dealership’s (one of the largest in this area of PA) logo on them, but he astonishingly asked me if he could borrow a pen when we were signing the paperwork. Really??? I mean, at the bare minimum, pens with the dealership’s logo should have been ubiquitous. You know what else would have been nice? A tote bag filled with an ice scraper, a tire gauge, a blanket, an emergency kit and an autoshade. Just sayin’.

Toddy

My friend Lisa Bennett, the multi-line goddess based in Chicago, had a fabulous suggestion: A company she reps, Toddy Gear (asi/91411; www.toddygear.com), carries these snazzy little antimicrobial, double-sided cloths that clean, buff and polish smooth surfaces — ideal for the screen on the built-in navigation system/satellite radio in the new car. I now have some of these, courtesy of Lisa — not the dim bulbs at the car dealership.

That’s my frustration: There are TONS of cool items like this one that would be perfect for the auto market available in our industry. Why doesn’t the dealership I dealt with know about them? Because, I think, they’re not being properly promotionally serviced. Consequently, I implore local distributorships to call on them now, with voluminous amounts of case histories and bags of samples in tow.

So, I ask you: Am I just spoiled and suffering from a sense of ad specialty entitlement because of the industry we’re in? Am I wrong to expect at least a logoed pen when buying a new car? Also, I’ve never been one of those people to name her car, but this blue/grey metallic convertible is so zazzy, I’m thinking about it. Any suggestions? The one who comes up with the winning name gets a $50 gift card and a ride in my car next time you’re in Philly. 

Cheers, and more next week, when I’ll be in Guangzhou, China, for the Canton Show (or, as I call it, “Dante’s Ninth Circle of Hell”) and Hong Kong for the Gifts & Premiums Show. Stay tuned for lots of commentary and photos of the coolest new products and nastiest seafood you could ever contemplate. ; )

– M


Simple Tips for Successful E-Mail Marketing

Filed under: Editorial, Personal

Caitlin Fitzgerald(Hi Everyone! My colleague Caitlin is guest-blogging for me as I wrap up some magazine deadlines. Tune in next week, when I will be blogging — read: ranting — about buying a new car and the lack of ad specialties used by the car dealer. And now, without further ado, Caitlin’s blog…. Cheers!  Michele)

Greetings, Web Friends!

This is Caitlin, and I’m filling in for Michele’s “regularly scheduled” blog post. I work in the Production Department at ASI, so some of you may already know me. I coordinate your print ads AND your digital ads like EmailExpress, eNewsletters, Supplier Specials and Web ads. Since EmailExpress is what keeps me busy for most of the day, I thought I’d share some tips with you on how to get the most out of your e-advertising:

1)      Subject lines. Be sure to use an eye-catching subject line for your ad. This is the first thing distributors see in their inboxes, so you need to give them a reason to open the e-mail. Remember the adage “K.I.S.S.” – Keep It Simple, Silly! You want this e-mail to really stand out and too much text will only make it blend in with the rest. Use this space to advertise a special promotion that you’re running or a new product that you’re launching.

2)      Teasers. Platinum EmailExpress advertisers are included in a special section of the Promogram newsletter, on ASICentral.com and in our EmailExpress Weekly. You have 250 characters, so use this space to elaborate on your subject line. Remember that you’re trying to entice  distributors to click on the link to take them to your ad.

3)      Ad content. This is where you want to really showcase your products, but don’t feel the need to cram all of them into one e-mail. Choose a few products so there’s room for both your copy and your images.  Are you running a few promotions on a few different products? This would be the space to tell everyone about them! It could be as simple as including 10 extra items for every 100 ordered. Or maybe you want to show next- column pricing. Either way, you want to encourage viewers to click on your ad to get to your site.

4)      Graphics. Use the best images you have available and design a really creative ad. My favorite campaigns always lead with a catchy headline and a noticeable image. Do you sell reusable shopping bags? Why not run a grocery store-themed campaign with an over-stuffed shopping cart filled with flowers, baguettes and wine? The point is, creative imagery can intrigue viewers and make your ads that much more memorable.

5)      Linking. It should go without saying, but make sure your website is user-friendly, distributor-friendly and up-to-date at all times. Your ad will link to the main page of your site unless you’d prefer that it link to a specific page. Are you running an ad for lip balm and want it to link directly to the lip balm section of your site? We can do that! Do you want to link each product to the appropriate page on your site? We can do that too! Don’t forget that we can link your ad to your Facebook and Twitter profiles as well.

6)      Audience. Are you featuring an offer intended for distributors only? Be sure to let us know. If not, please be sure to either supply art for a client-safe ad or ask us to create one for you. Try to figure out the target audience for each product and how to best appeal to them.

I hope that helps you guys capitalize on your advertising! Happy blasting!

– Caitlin

Caitlin Fitzgerald has been with ASI for 4 years. She started as a copywriter but transitioned to Advertising Coordinator because she missed working with clients too much. “I like long walks on the beach, romantic candlelit dinners, yadda yadda… But seriously though, I just want to travel,” Caitlin says. “The travel bug bit me a long time ago (in utero, if possible!), and I’ve always wanted to see the world. If all goes as planned, I’m going to Istanbul next year to visit a friend who recently relocated. Feel free to contribute via the PayPal link below. I kid, I kid! Anyway, enjoy the blog and feel free to chime in with your thoughts.”
Caitlin can be reached at cfitzgerald@asicentral.com.

The Best Steve Jobs Quote Ever…

Filed under: Personal

Hi Everyone!

Steve JobsLike so many other people, I was saddened to hear about the death of Apple’s Steve Jobs. You know, the phrase “technology visionary” gets thrown around a lot to describe lesser mortals who really aren’t worthy of that weighty moniker. Steve Jobs, however, deserved it in spades. And while I don’t have an iPhone (I still love you, BlackBerry!) or an iPad, I covet my iPod and stand in awe of the voluminous, astonishingly groundbreaking products and innovations Jobs gave us.

For the this year’s Design & Innovation issue of Supplier Global Resource, ASI’s magazine for industry suppliers that I edit, it was a no-brainer to pick an image of Jobs for our cover.  

So, in honor of him, I present one of my favorite quotes ever, which just happens to be from Mr. Jobs himself. I love it because it perfectly embodies his iconoclastic, maverick, and deliciously insolent attitude:

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

 
Steve Jobs (left) and Steve Wozniak, circa 1977. Let it never be said that a trippy hippy and an uber-nerd can’t change the world.
 
Cheers and more soon!
M

Shore Leave

Filed under: Fun, Personal, Travel

Well, hey there Sailors!

Long time, no blog! Why, you may ask? For no other reason than I really haven’t had much to say (shocking, I know, considering my nonstop flapping trap, as Joe Haley often points out).

But I’m back, and giddy as all get-out. Now, most of you who read my blog postings know that I often cover the industry’s social, after-hours events, showcasing the business’ most fun celebs in their natural habitat (read: the bar). This time, I’m turning a gimlet-eye toward my ASI colleagues.

Last week, 90+ staffers from ASI’s Editorial, Marketing, Supplier Sales, Supplier Internet and CreditConnect departments decamped to quaint, quiet and staid Cape May, NJ (the part of the Jersey Shore not drenched in skanks, Axe and cheesiness), for a two-day overnight retreat to recharge our batteries and engage in massive brainstorming sessions.

Spearheaded by ASI’s executive vice president & publisher Rich Fairfield and planned by Gene Rahill, ASI’s director of digital advertising, and Suzanne Izzo, manager of digital advertising, the event was incredibly informative, enlightening and valuable, with members of the Paradigm Group joining us to lead listening and collaborative sessions and networking events held to help ASI employees meet people outside of their own cliques and departments. It was a huge success, and lest you think it sounds like one long, coma-inducing strat plan session — far from it! You’ll see new and innovative initiatives being implemented for ASI’s magazines, products and services very soon and lots of fun and exciting announcements coming within the next few weeks. For now, read on to check out photos of your favorite ASI characters!

More soon (promise!) and hope to see many of you at ASI’s Power Summit in November.

Cheers!
– M

Four of my favorite ASI colleagues in one shot (from left): Jake Krolick, creative director for ASI’s marketing department and resident Keith Richards-esque reveler; Ron Ball, my designated work husband and ASI’s vice president of supplier sales; the vivacious and stunning Krista Taylor, account exec extraordinaire of ASI’s Supplier Internet Sales department; and Colin Graf (or “El Diablo,” as I call him, due to the sulfurous hangovers he causes me every time we hang together…), director of ASI’s supplier marketing efforts and one talented guy. Jack Flohr (left), director of marketing for ASI’s membership services, and Larry Basinait, director of ASI’s statistical research. We call Larry “The Basinaitor” because he’s our wonky stat superhero!
A moment about Gene Rahill, ASI’s director of digital advertising: Not only did he spearhead the entire retreat — a huge undertaking when dealing with so many different details and personalities — but, as with everything he does, he did it with humor, patience and excellence. He is a favorite of everyone at ASI. Here’s Krista Taylor (left) and Hillary Haught, two of my fave blondes ever! Hillary is the senior designer of ASI’s magazines, and is a critical reason why we win as many design awards as we do. When Krista, Hillary and I get together, our main topic of conversation is the HBO show True Blood and how, um, smart, we think all the male actors on the show are and how we’d like to, um, write sonnets with them. Yeah, that’s it.
Rich Fairfield, ASI’s executive vice president and the publisher of its five magazines, and Hillary Haught. Rich and I travel to trade shows overseas quite often and he has the patience of Job with my “eccentricities” and vices. Meet Patty Cangelosi (left), one of ASI’s newer employees and our fantastic copy proofreader. Before dinner at the retreat, ASI’s newest employees did a skit impersonating some of the company’s more chronically kooky personalities (I’m looking at you, Ron Ball). Patty impersonated me, complete with circus-big hoop earrings, stilettos, dark sunglasses, a cocktail in hand and sass that could melt glass.
Hands up: Who doesn’t know ASI’s senior vice president, Chris Lovell? I’m guessing not many of you… Chris is an ASI stalwart and has a near Talmudic knowledge of the industry. She also wields a wit so sharp it’s bracing. (From left): Joe Haley, ASI’s managing editor and star of The Joe Show; Andy Cohen, editor of the award-winning Counselor magazine; Melinda Ligos, ASI’s senior vice president and editor-in-chief of its magazines; and Larry Basinait at Cabanas beach bar in Cape May, NJ. As it is the off-season and it was a Tuesday night, the bar was dead, save a few locals. Then about 40 ASI staffers blew in, like a wave of locusts spreading mayhem. The bartenders, of course, were thrilled; the locals, not so much.
Melinda Ligos (left) and Barbara Ambrose, assistant to Rich Fairfield. Barbara has been at ASI for nearly 14 years and is just phenomenal. Truly, we are so lucky to have her with us. Here’s C.J. Mittica, editor of the award-winning Wearables magazine. We call him “Chaz” in the office and stand in awe of his Hemingway-esque ability to consume scotch.
Designer Hillary Haught and Marketing Guru Colin Graf, going after ASI’s Mirror Ball trophy for dancing. (From left): Meet our new copywriter, Chuck Zak, who handles all the creative writing for ASI’s catalogs and who’s taken on some new editorial writing for our magazines, shown here with Wearables editor C.J. Mittica and awards editor Karen Akers.
Monica Fisher is one of the designers for ASI’s magazines and someone with the patience enough to work closely with me on Supplier Global Resource, ASI’s magazine for industry importers and manufacturers that I edit. Monica is leaving ASI for a new opportunity, and we will miss her! The little man with the big mouth. Here’s my pal and colleague, Joe Haley, star of ASI’s The Joe Show, entertaining the crowd. Joe’s personality is so larger-than-life, his aura has an aura.
This is one of my favorite photos, though I wish it came with a sound chip so you could hear the sheer melodious laughter from Karyn Coates, director of ASI’s member benefits, shown here with Jakey Krolick. (From left): Monica Fisher, Joe Haley and Andy Cohen, who’s usually our Captain Killjoy but who was downright convivial thanks to copious amounts of gin and tonic.
My pals Karyn Coates, Colin Graf and Jakey Krolick, who — like the rest of us at Cabanas bar that night — spent lots of quality time with the trinity of terror: Jim, Jack and Jose. The man with the coolest walk ever, Gene Rahill (we call him “The Strutter” at ASI), and Joe “my favorite dessert is a Guinness milkshake” Haley.
If ASI employees had industry fan clubs, Vince Deissroth — supplier sales account exec — would have the most members. Wicked fun and whip-smart, Vince is the one all the cool industry kids want as their rep.
   

With a Little Help From My Friends…

Filed under: Editorial, Fun, Personal

Hi Everyone!

Hope you’re all doing well and as am excited as I am about the the start of spring and — more importantly — season four of True Blood (go Team Eric!). ; )

I’ve been off the show tour and office-bound for the past few weeks (so nice!), though some editorial colleagues and I trekked to New York City last week for the prestigious Neal Awards luncheon. The Jesse H. Neal national business journalism awards are given out by American Business Media and are known as “the Pulitzers of Business Journalism.” To even be selected as a finalist is quite an honor, so imagine our delight when three of ASI’s publications — Counselor, Wearables and Supplier Global Resource — were singled out to compete for various awards.

The luncheon itself, commemorating the 57th annual Neal Awards where this year’s winners were announced, was held at the Mandarin Oriental hotel in a stunning room with jaw-dropping views of the city. Midway through the program, the category for which I was up for an award — Best News Coverage for my article on the issues surrounding sourcing product from China (see the cover image for the winning issue, below) — was announced. Much to my shock, I won the award. I’m thrilled, yes, but it bears noting that there are three reasons the article was award-worthy.

1. Melinda Ligos. As the editor-in-chief of all ASI’s publications — in addition to the huge responsibility of running our education initiatives — Melinda has the Herculean task of being my boss. When the time came for us to enter the Neal Awards, I carried on like a lunatic that “I have no time for blah-blah awards,” “Who cares if we win awards,” yap yap yap. Thankfully, Melinda cares if we win. She told me in no uncertain terms that if I didn’t make the time to enter, she’d enter for me. Only because of her persistence, patience and support was my receiving the award even possible.

2. Tim Andrews and Rich Fairfield. Imagine trying to control the wind. Now imagine trying to control the wind and stop the waves from rolling in. Then imagine that the aforementioned wind and waves hate rules and rack up rock star-sized bar bills at trade shows. That’s a little what it’s like, I would imagine, to have me as an employee. Yet these two, ASI’s president/CEO and executive vice president/publisher, do it with grace, loyalty and only intermittent eye-rolls and sporadic sighs of exasperation. I couldn’t do what I do here at ASI — for 14 years now — without their flying buttress-esque support.  

3. My supplier brain trust. Most importantly, I share this award with the nine supplier principals who graciously allowed me to interview and quote them, on a topic that wasn’t the easiest for them to discuss. The impetus of this article was my friend David Nicholson, president of Counselor Top 40 supplier Polyconcept North America, who reached out to me and explained — in painstaking detail — what was going on last year in Asia (factory closings, employment shortages, shipping delays) and the monumental impact it would have on the industry. “Would you be willing to go on the record,” I asked, “and explain how these issues are negatively affecting Leed’s and the industry?” Not something the head of any company would relish. You know what? He didn’t hesitate.

Getting my other supplier friends to dissect the troubling issues was equally as easy. In addition to David, Dard’s Bonni Shevin-Sandy, SanMar’s Marty Lott, Gemline’s Jonathan Isaacson, Impex’s Randy Chen, Logomark’s Trevor Gnesin, Sweda’s Jim Hagan, Ash City’s Garry Hurvitz and Prime Line’s Jeff Lederer took the time to tell me exactly what was happening and how it would impact different aspects of the ad specialty supply chain. It wasn’t pretty, but they didn’t waver and not once did I hear, “This is off the record.” Click here to read the article.

Only because of their openness, forthrightness and trust was I able to tell their story. To them I say a heartfelt thank you.

Some members of the senior management team at ASI (from left): Rich Fairfield, executive vice president/publisher; Melinda Ligos, senior vice president and editor-in-chief of ASI’s publications; and Tim Andrews, president/CEO. It meant the world to me that all three of them attended the Neal Awards luncheon at the Mandarin Oriental hotel in New York City. Here are some of my awesome editorial colleagues who were also nominated for Neal Awards (from left): Andy Cohen, editor of Counselor, who was nominated for Counselor’s 2010 State of the Industry issue; Dave Vagnoni, senior writer for Counselor and editorial Swiss Army knife (he does it all!), who was a critical player in the creation of Counselor’s 2010 State of the Industry issue; and C.J. Mittica (“Chaz,” as we call him here in Trevose), the editor of Wearables magazine, who was nominated for a Neal Award for his awesome article “From Seed to Shirt“, for which he went to Honduras and worked in the cotton fields (seriously!), following the contruction of a T-shirt from start to finish. I’m so proud of these boys!
Shown here with Chaz is Larry Basinait, The Statistics God here at ASI. Larry (the “Basinaitor,” as we call him) oversees all our surveys, statistical data, focus groups and research for articles and market studies. He is our favorite numbers wonk and we’d be lost without him! Rich Fairfield (left) and Tim Andrews, shown here with the Neal Award for Best News Coverage given to ASI’s Supplier Global Resource magazine for my article titled, “Asia’s Seismic Shift,” which deals with the multitude of issues that were happening last year, primarily in China, that affected the ad specialty industry.
   

Cheers, and more soon!

– M


Customer Disservice

Filed under: Personal

Hi Everyone and Happy 2011!

Hope you’re all having a great new year so far and looking forward to show season!

How were your holidays? I traveled to Florida to spend Christmas with my mom and stepdad, and had a few incidents happen that made me go “WTF?” (Why the Face?, in Modern Family parlance) and really contemplate what constitutes good customer service. I’m also in the midst of compiling the profiles on some of the industry suppliers who won this year’s Counselor Distributor Choice awards (to be announced at ASI’s Orlando Show on 1/23 – if you’re going to be there, join us for the awards celebration and cocktail party at 5:00 p.m. in room S320 of the Orlando Convention Center). What do they all have in common? Stellar, “save the day” customer service.

Here are two examples of craptacular customer service, from companies that could take a lesson from the award-winning suppliers in our industry.

1. TD Bank. As I was at the Philadelphia Airport two days before Christmas to fly to my mom’s house in Sanibel, Florida, I stopped at a McDonald’s to get coffee. I used my debit card, which was promptly declined. When I called TD Bank, with whom I do my banking and have credit cards, they informed me that my card had been cancelled due to “suspected fraudulent activity in Homer, Oklahoma.” According to the customer service person, Homer is a hotbed of identity and credit card theft. Who knew? I’m just guessing here that there’s not much to do in the thriving metropolis that is Homer, Oklahoma. Just sayin’.

Now, while I was thankful that the bank was vigilant in spotting the attempted fraud and shut down my credit card, couldn’t they have, you know, TOLD ME? As I explained to the customer service woman that I was ready to board a plane and would need a new card overnighted to me, she informed me that I’d have to “fax a handwritten letter” giving them authority to ship my new card to an address (my mom’s) that wasn’t my own. Couldn’t I e-mail an authorization to them, providing telling data to authenticate my identity? Nope. Ladies and gentleman, you’ve now met a business in the year of 2011 that “doesn’t accept e-mails.”

Brenda, the first in a long and undistinguished line of customer service people I dealt with, suggested — wait for it — that I find a fax machine AT THE AIRPORT and dash the letter off to them that way. Yes. Because the Rosetta Stone kiosk and the Relay magazine stand have fax machines at the ready. Clearly, Brenda doesn’t fly.

At this point I didn’t freak too much, because I was traveling to be with my family and knew they’d lend me cash, etc. But what if I wasn’t? What if this happened as I was boarding an international flight to Dusseldorf, as I will be next week? When I landed, my mom took me to an Office Max where I faxed (so archaic I might as well have used a chisel and a slate) the handwritten letter to TD Bank, who — as I called to confirm its arrival — assured me I’d get my new card the next day.

Long story short? I didn’t get my card until the following Tuesday — nearly a week – which is baffling to me in this day and age. I’ve gotten phones, flowers and shoes overnighted to me — but apparently a 2″ x 3″ piece of plastic is outside the realm of possibility. Those of you who know me can imagine how my demeanor steadily declined as I checked twice daily on the status of my card, each time speaking with a different supervisor — none of whom were “allowed” to give me their last name or direct phone number and all of whom gave me different information (“we never overnight cards,” “your card will be delivered today,” “your card is stuck in the snowstorm”). My favorite had to be when one customer service agent told me she couldn’t provide me with a tracking number “until the card was delivered.” Not a high point for my patience, I suggested she “take a moment of silence for the death of logic in that statement.” I was also so tired of repeating my personal information that I began to get more snarky than usual.

Customer Service Rep: “Can you spell ‘Sanibel’ for me?”

 Bitchy, Exasperated Michele: “Sure! S as in Subpar, A as in Asinine, N as in Nonsensical, I as in Inept…”

The lessons to be learned here (which I enumerated in a letter to the president of TD Bank):

* Allow your customers to have direct access to customer service reps so they can deal with one person and not have to repeat their story again and again. It’s annoying and frustrating.

* Get everyone on the same page. I think the thing that made me the most incensed was that even reps at a supervisory level all had different answers for me. The message conveyed was confusion and distrust — not what a bank wants to put out there, I would think.

* It bears noting that every one of the 14 people I spoke with at TD Bank was extremely nice and empathetic. However, when you’re getting the runaround and incorrect information, nice only goes so far.

* Communicate clearly with customers when there is a problem. The main point of contention with me was that the bank never notified me that my credit card had been canceled — McDonald’s did. The numerous reps apologized for this oversight and said I “should have been contacted immediately.” Shoulda Woulda Coulda. Follow through on your methods of operation.

* Let Brenda out of the office to visit an airport, for the love of God.

As an amusing little epilogue, when the credit card so guarded and protected by the bank that it was like The Grail finally did arrive at my mom’s house via FedEx, I was neither required to sign for it nor show identification. Kid. You. Not.  

2. Southwest Airlines. Truly, Southwest is one of my favorite U.S. companies. Its employees are cordial and kooky, they don’t charge for baggage and still offer complimentary beverages and snacks. And you’ve just got to love a company that was started by a genius, loony libertine (Herb Kelleher) on the back of a cocktail napkin while drinking a snoot-full of Scotch. However…

While in Sanibel and dealing with the credit card clusterduck over at TD Bank, a wicked snow storm socked the East Coast, causing my flight back to Philly to be canceled. Now, I fly enough that disruptions like this do not even phase me and I was able to go back to my mom’s house for two more days. The quandary? As I had already checked my bag for the flight that was ultimately canceled, no one at Southwest could tell me where my bag was  — still on the plane, sitting at the Fort Myers airport or on its way to Philly. What I find interesting is that these days (creepily) you can track anyone and anything with technology. Except my Louis Vuitton bag, which was apparently sneaky enough to avoid detection.

The lesson for Southwest? You guys are amazing at practically everthing you do… Perhaps you should focus as much on your technology as you do on your people.    

That’s it, I’m all bitched out. Despite these events, I had an awesome Christmas and am ready to start traveling for show season — just not to Homer, Oklahoma. ; )

Do you have a customer service story that sent you off the rails or restored your faith in humanity? Post a comment!

Cheers, and more next week from the PSI Dusseldorf Show!

– Michele


What I Learned on My Summer “Vacation”

Filed under: Personal

Hi Everyone!

As many of you know, I was away for two and a half months this summer, tending to a family medical emergency in Florida. My mom, who lives with my stepdad in Sanibel, had surgery at Tampa General and was in the hospital for 43 days.

She’s much better now and at home recovering, but to say it was a trying, stressful, hectic experience (I refer to it as “my season in hell”) is putting it mildly. However, as I’ve always been a glass-half-full kind of girl, I made notes during my time away, chronicling the lessons I learned (listed below) – not the least of which is that Florida bugs aren’t bugs; they’re teradactyls.

1. Doctors aren’t gods (but nurses come close). Oftentimes, the nurses were much more patient and amenable to taking the time to explain issues than the doctors. Maybe the most crucial point I learned was that you need to ask questions of doctors and not be intimidated by their position. I told a young attending cardiologist who was treating my mom that I would be asking to see the head of cardiology for a second opinion. When she asked if it was because of her age, I reassured her that that had nothing to do with it, explaining patiently, “I read your notes in my mom’s chart and you misspelled both ‘ventricular’ and ‘thoracic.’” Oy.

2. Pets make everything better. My mom and stepdad have two insanely adorable and spoiled Lhasa Apsos whom they adore. Being away from them for so long was causing my mother great distress, until her pet sitter started texting daily photos of the pups, much to my mother’s delight. It made all the difference. Additionally, Tampa General is one of the increasing number of hospitals that have “pet therapy,” allowing dogs and cats to visit with patients whose condition allows for it. The doctors and nurses told me that in many cases, the pet visits had a more restorative effect than medication.

3. If it sounds ludicrous and nonsensical, it probably is. I’ve never understood how a simple cell phone could disrupt a plane’s operational system or take down a hospital’s monitoring equipment. I think that line of reasoning could best be described as “cockamamie.” Proving my point, not once did the good people of Tampa General — even when my mom was in the ICU — ask me to turn off my cell phone. Consequently, I was able to research pharmaceutical remedies, surgical terms and procedures, locate medical supply stores and pharmacies and write and edit for Counselor and Supplier Global Resource, all while on my hand-held, at my mother’s bedside. What did that teach me? You can conquer anything with one BlackBerry and a pen.

4. You’ll be amazed what you can do when you have no choice. As the person designated to be my mom’s primary caregiver upon her release from the hospital, the medical staff trained me in how to flush an occluded IV line, give an injection, properly sterilize and dress an abdominal incision and monitor a heart rate to determine sinus rhythm. For those of you who know me, you’ll agree that my areas of expertise typically lie in nails, males and cocktails, not surgical recovery. Still, it was my mom and I did it — like a M*A*S*H nurse under the command of Major Manolo Blahnik.

5. Ad specialties really, really work. Whether it was the jaw-droppingly impressive and delicious gift baskets I had delivered to the nurses at Tampa General from Maple Ridge Farms (asi/68680), the fun pens imprinted with “Editorial Diva” that my pal Michael Linderman, owner of Express Pens (asi/53411), makes for me, or the notepads and bags from JournalBooks (asi/91340) and Leed’s (asi/66887) that I had shipped to Tampa, each time I gave something away as a “thank you for helping me,” people responded — and wanted to help me even more.

6. Just because it’s a hospital doesn’t mean it’s conducive to good health. Patients in a hospital only average three hours of continuous sleep per night, due to constant interruptions for such things as administering meds and tests, taking vital signs and the cacophony of noise from the monitoring devices the likes of which could rival a casino. Equally counterintuitive, at Tampa General, there’s a McDonald’s and a smoking section on the premises. Come to think of it, with the noise, lack of sleep, calorie-laden food and half-naked people, it’s a little like being at the Palms Hotel & Casino in Vegas. If the Palms smelled like antiseptic and offered IV drips.

7. The Embassy Suites rocks. For the 43 days we were in Tampa, my stepfather and I “lived” at the Embassy Suites near the convention center. I don’t know how we would have survived without the extraordinarily kind staff and heavy pour of the bartender during its sanity-saving daily two-hour complimentary happy hour. Couldn’t get a glass of Pinot Grigio in the state of Florida during the month of July? Yeah. That’s ’cause I drank it all.  

8. Lean on your support system. I hate asking for help — it’s just not in my nature. There are times, though, when you simply can’t handle the magnitude of a situation alone. Luckily, I have the Wonder Bra of support systems. So many people have asked me how the management of ASI dealt with me being away for nearly three months. The answer: simply and graciously, continually asking only two questions: “Are you okay?” and “What can we do to help?”

9. It’s the heartfelt gestures that get you through.In the midst of my 40+ day stay at the hotel in Tampa, it was my birthday on August 9. Aside from seeing my mom during the day in the hospital, I was alone at that point and prepared for my birthday to be considerably more craptacular than the lavish, legendary and Dionysian celebrations with friends as in past years. But as I opened the door to my hotel room that evening, it was filled with flowers, bottles of wine and champagne and slices of cake ordered from the hotel restaurant from many of you (thanks especially to ASI’s design chica extraordinaire, Hillary Braubitz, and my trio of distributor divas — WorkflowOne’s Jilly Albers, Creative Promotional Products’ Sharon Biernat and Service With A Smile’s Diane Sakowicz!) who were so gracious as to let me know you were thinking of me. Truly, your thoughful gestures made it one of my favorite birthdays. Well, that and the sinfully sassy Jimmy Choos I bought myself online that night, which I now refer to as my “Leather Boots of Badass.” ; )

Thanks so much for the love and support, and it’s great to be back!

More soon & cheers!

Michele


Going With the Flow

Filed under: Personal, Travel

What’s that saying about the best laid plans? Well, in my case this summer, they went to hell in a handbasket. As with every summer, I was planning to spend weekends in my beloved Avalon, NJ (“the sunny place for shady people,” as W. Somerset Maugham once said about the French Riviera), attend the SAAC Show (one of my favorites) and then spend a week in Europe at the end of August with my pal Hillary Braubitz, ASI’s award-winning senior designer who lays out our magazines, at the brand-new Pro10 Show (a collaboration of PSI and its competitor, Pro8) in Amsterdam, followed by a weekend in Paris. Sounds fabulous, right? 

Enter my mother, Judge Judye (she doesn’t sit on the bench, but is judgmental!) who decided to have an elective surgery at Tampa General (she and my stepfather live in Sanibel, FL) on June 30. The surgery was considered a success, but complications set in and she had to have a second surgery on July 1. Upon speaking to the doctors and my stepfather (who has the early signs of dementia), I immediately flew in from Philly on July 2, and have been here ever since. 

It’s amazing how quickly you can adjust to a new reality. For the last month, my stepdad and I spend eight to nine hours a day in my mom’s room at Tampa General and our evenings at the hotel. Remember the famous children’s story of “Eloise living at the Plaza in New York”? My version is, “Michele at the Embassy Suites in Tampa.” That the hotel staff has been phenomenally hospitable, gracious and accommodating has made this whole experience that much easier. If there was ever a case for exceptional customer service winning someone over for life, it’s me and my new devotion to the Embassy Suites. 

What’s been interesting to see, because the hotel is situated right next to the Tampa Convention Center, is the different trade-show groups and conference attendees who have come and gone. The good news? They all love ad specialties. What types of ad specialties they love varies according to the personalities of the groups. For example, the Convention of Physical Therapists went nuts for stress balls of all shapes and sizes; the meeting of Anime and Comic Book fans (which sold out my hotel), whose demographic is over-stimulated Gen Y-ers, got their freak on for bright, shiny, blinky items; the Florida Bar Association had its law students taking the bar exam at the Convention Center last week, so they craved pens, notepads, USB drives and coffee for late-night, last-minute cram sessions. The Stephenson family reunion (with over 200 people in attendance!) snapped up custom T-shirts, caps and slankets, all bearing a familial logo designed by a family member, and digital photo frames. And, the guests who attended the huge wedding held at the Convention Center (and corresponding cocktail parties by the pool and brunches at the hotel) were treated to gift bags filled with logoed, personalized candy, bottled water, beach towels, lip balm and sunscreen. 

And in answer to the question, “Do recipients take their giveaways with them or leave them in their hotel rooms?” I’ll share with you what one of the physical therapy attendees told me in the elevator one day: “I’d leave my husband behind before leaving the bag of goodies I’ve collected at this show!”

The doctors tell me that my mom, who has been making excellent progress in the last 10 days, may be able to go home on August 9 (my birthday, ironically). Until then, I’ll be here – splitting my time between Tampa General (like the Embassy Suites, another extraordinary staff) and the hotel. How do I get by? As Ringo famously said, with a little help from my friends: 

  • First and foremost, a huge shout-out to Sharon (Biernat, with the Chicago-based distributor Creative Promotions) and Jilly (Albers, with Counselor Top 40 distributor WorkflowOne). Sharon and Jilly … always my girls. Sharon sent a huge box of my favorite foods and an excellent bottle of wine to the hotel (which arrived on a day when I REALLY needed cheering up); Jilly guest blogged for me (during the worst of my mom’s hospital stay when she was in the Trauma ICU for a week) from the ASI Chicago Show when I couldn’t. 
  • To PPAI’s Paul Bellantone, who follows me on Twitter and therefore knew of my extended stay here in Tampa and the reason for it. An avid music fan like me, he took the time to send me a link to a site that lists all concerts that are happening in Tampa for the month, in case I was able to get away and have some fun time, if even for a night. So sweet. 
  • To Dennis Sherman, who lives here in Tampa and regularly asks if he can take me out for breakfast, lunch or dinner, just to give me a break. I don’t have the time for that, but if I did, I’d go. I so appreciate the gesture. 
  • To Tom Riordan, president of Maple Ridge Farms, who – when I’ve ordered gift baskets to be sent to the hospital staff here at Tampa General – has chosen the most impressive and delicious food treats the company has to offer. 
  • To Christian Brandt, executive director of distributor sales at ASI, who has repeatedly offered to fly to Tampa, at a moment’s notice, if I need him and to transfer to me (though it’s not possible) his vacation time. 
  • To the management of ASI who has been unwaveringly supportive, patient and understanding of my need to be here, and my editorial colleagues, who have picked up the slack in my absence – especially my boss, Senior Vice President of Professional Development and Editor-in-Chief, Melinda Ligos, whose preternatural sense of calm lets me know everything will be OK. There are no words for how grateful I am.
  • And last but not least, to my BFF Jeremy Young – one of ASI’s IT guys – who has sent me countless packages from Amazon, containing books that have kept me sane throughout this ordeal, and even homemade cookies from his mom. He’ll hate this, but his empathy has shown me he’s not the cranky, cantankerous misanthrope he pretends to be. ;)  

More soon from sunny Florida where – on the upside – it’s actually cooler than it’s been in Philly! 

Cheers,

Michele


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