September 24, 2010
Filed under: Personal
As many of you know, I was away for two and a half months this summer, tending to a family medical emergency in Florida. My mom, who lives with my stepdad in Sanibel, had surgery at Tampa General and was in the hospital for 43 days.
She’s much better now and at home recovering, but to say it was a trying, stressful, hectic experience (I refer to it as “my season in hell”) is putting it mildly. However, as I’ve always been a glass-half-full kind of girl, I made notes during my time away, chronicling the lessons I learned (listed below) — not the least of which is that Florida bugs aren’t bugs; they’re teradactyls.
1. Doctors aren’t gods (but nurses come close). Oftentimes, the nurses were much more patient and amenable to taking the time to explain issues than the doctors. Maybe the most crucial point I learned was that you need to ask questions of doctors and not be intimidated by their position. I told a young attending cardiologist who was treating my mom that I would be asking to see the head of cardiology for a second opinion. When she asked if it was because of her age, I reassured her that that had nothing to do with it, explaining patiently, “I read your notes in my mom’s chart and you misspelled both ‘ventricular’ and ‘thoracic.'” Oy.
2. Pets make everything better. My mom and stepdad have two insanely adorable and spoiled Lhasa Apsos whom they adore. Being away from them for so long was causing my mother great distress, until her pet sitter started texting daily photos of the pups, much to my mother’s delight. It made all the difference. Additionally, Tampa General is one of the increasing number of hospitals that have “pet therapy,” allowing dogs and cats to visit with patients whose condition allows for it. The doctors and nurses told me that in many cases, the pet visits had a more restorative effect than medication.
3. If it sounds ludicrous and nonsensical, it probably is. I’ve never understood how a simple cell phone could disrupt a plane’s operational system or take down a hospital’s monitoring equipment. I think that line of reasoning could best be described as “cockamamie.” Proving my point, not once did the good people of Tampa General — even when my mom was in the ICU — ask me to turn off my cell phone. Consequently, I was able to research pharmaceutical remedies, surgical terms and procedures, locate medical supply stores and pharmacies and write and edit for Counselor and Supplier Global Resource, all while on my hand-held, at my mother’s bedside. What did that teach me? You can conquer anything with one BlackBerry and a pen.
4. You’ll be amazed what you can do when you have no choice. As the person designated to be my mom’s primary caregiver upon her release from the hospital, the medical staff trained me in how to flush an occluded IV line, give an injection, properly sterilize and dress an abdominal incision and monitor a heart rate to determine sinus rhythm. For those of you who know me, you’ll agree that my areas of expertise typically lie in nails, males and cocktails, not surgical recovery. Still, it was my mom and I did it — like a M*A*S*H nurse under the command of Major Manolo Blahnik.
5. Ad specialties really, really work. Whether it was the jaw-droppingly impressive and delicious gift baskets I had delivered to the nurses at Tampa General from Maple Ridge Farms (asi/68680), the fun pens imprinted with “Editorial Diva” that my pal Michael Linderman, owner of Express Pens (asi/53411), makes for me, or the notepads and bags from JournalBooks (asi/91340) and Leed’s (asi/66887) that I had shipped to Tampa, each time I gave something away as a “thank you for helping me,” people responded — and wanted to help me even more.
6. Just because it’s a hospital doesn’t mean it’s conducive to good health. Patients in a hospital only average three hours of continuous sleep per night, due to constant interruptions for such things as administering meds and tests, taking vital signs and the cacophony of noise from the monitoring devices the likes of which could rival a casino. Equally counterintuitive, at Tampa General, there’s a McDonald’s and a smoking section on the premises. Come to think of it, with the noise, lack of sleep, calorie-laden food and half-naked people, it’s a little like being at the Palms Hotel & Casino in Vegas. If the Palms smelled like antiseptic and offered IV drips.
7. The Embassy Suites rocks. For the 43 days we were in Tampa, my stepfather and I “lived” at the Embassy Suites near the convention center. I don’t know how we would have survived without the extraordinarily kind staff and heavy pour of the bartender during its sanity-saving daily two-hour complimentary happy hour. Couldn’t get a glass of Pinot Grigio in the state of Florida during the month of July? Yeah. That’s ’cause I drank it all.
8. Lean on your support system. I hate asking for help — it’s just not in my nature. There are times, though, when you simply can’t handle the magnitude of a situation alone. Luckily, I have the Wonder Bra of support systems. So many people have asked me how the management of ASI dealt with me being away for nearly three months. The answer: simply and graciously, continually asking only two questions: “Are you okay?” and “What can we do to help?”
9. It’s the heartfelt gestures that get you through.In the midst of my 40+ day stay at the hotel in Tampa, it was my birthday on August 9. Aside from seeing my mom during the day in the hospital, I was alone at that point and prepared for my birthday to be considerably more craptacular than the lavish, legendary and Dionysian celebrations with friends as in past years. But as I opened the door to my hotel room that evening, it was filled with flowers, bottles of wine and champagne and slices of cake ordered from the hotel restaurant from many of you (thanks especially to ASI’s design chica extraordinaire, Hillary Braubitz, and my trio of distributor divas — WorkflowOne’s Jilly Albers, Creative Promotional Products’ Sharon Biernat and Service With A Smile’s Diane Sakowicz!) who were so gracious as to let me know you were thinking of me. Truly, your thoughful gestures made it one of my favorite birthdays. Well, that and the sinfully sassy Jimmy Choos I bought myself online that night, which I now refer to as my “Leather Boots of Badass.” ; )
Thanks so much for the love and support, and it’s great to be back!
More soon & cheers!
September 1, 2010
I’m Jess, and I work in the Production Department at ASI, located in beautiful, downtown Trevose, PA. My job is to coordinate ASI magazines and catalogs. I basically annoy all the other departments into submission so the publications go out on time and in one piece – I’m a professional pest, if you will. I do have a claim to ASI fame, however: I once escorted a certain lovable exclamation point named “Promo” around the trade show floor at ASI New York. So I’m a pretty big deal. And, did I mention that Michele Bell is my mentor? Actually, more like my hero.
So why am I writing this blog post? Because Michele said so. And, since you’re reading her blog, I’m sure you know what that means: What Michele wants, Michele gets! While I’m sure this post will not hold a candle to what goes on in Michele’s twisted mind on a regular basis, why not cross another one off the good ol’ bucket list?! So here I will pay homage to September …
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year” – the Staples back-to-school commercials say it all. And, while it’s referring to the time of the year when parents and school children flock to office-supply shops and buy up all the loose-leaf paper, I think it really rings true on a deeper level: September is perfection.
For starters, you have the beginning of regular-season NFL football (Fly Eagles Fly…), which is the greatest professional sport known to man. At the same time you’re gearing up for the only segment of the never-ending Major League Baseball season worth following. Fall premieres of everyone’s favorite TV shows reel in the testosterone levels between games. I’m especially pumped for the Vampire Diaries premiere on September 9.
The weather is becoming borderline acceptable, and aside from a few last-minute beach trips, the pressure to have the perfect beach bod has faded. Come to think of it, you’re the furthest away from needing to worry about being in beach shape. You scoop up another serving of pasta, you add another layer of clothing. September is forgiving like that.
On a selfish note, my birthday is in September (shout out to my fellow Virgos). I’m super-excited for the birthday celebration (I will be making my first trip to Chicago –fingers crossed for Oprah tickets) and the attention I’ll receive (I suffer from middle-child, Jan Brady syndrome to the max). Not so excited for the another-year-older part, though …
Last but certainly not least, September delivers a batch of particularly scintillating ASI magazines, and I’m in the position of power to have access to them all before they hit the streets. Because I love and must plug the magazines, here are some insider highlights from me to you:
So live it up while it lasts. We have 30 days of bliss until October comes around. And as we all know, October is just creepy and cold.
Until next time, peace, love and magazines …