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Counselor Senior Editor Michele Bell's slanted view of the world.

Screwed By Lloyd Dobler…

Filed under: Fun, Personal

Hi Everyone!

I hope you’re all having a cheery and festive February and aren’t buried in the remains of The Blizzard of 2010 like us icicles on the East Coast.

Itchy to get out of the house, I met my friend Meg — who, as we met on the first day of first grade, is my oldest friend — for lunch the other day. She brought her 12-year-old daughter and let me tell you: This girly girl was decked out from head to toe in everything Robert Pattinson — the mopey guy from the Twilight movies who looks like he needs a bath and a B-12 shot. She had a T-shirt, a button, a book bag and a hat, all adorned with his pasty face. Why? Valentine’s Day was approaching and she was expressing her adoration of sullen Edward Cullen. Of course, I let loose with a tirade.

“Where was all that stuff when we were young?” I asked her mother. Where was the gear logoed with the fine visage of Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles, and Lloyd Dobler, the weirdo, kickboxing iconoclast from Say Anything, or The Breakfast Club’s resident bad-ass, Bender — the first in a long and sketchy line of bad boys to pique my interest. I felt gypped, and wasn’t shy about ranting.

Robert Pattinson, star of the stunningly successful Twilight movies. Can someone buy this boy a brush, a sandwich and a sun lamp, for the love of God? Say Anything’s Lloyd Dobler: Oh, Lloyd… To me and my girlfriends you were anything but “null and void.” You can be our Key Master anytime.
Sixteen Candles’ Jake Ryan: The boy who ruined dating for scores of teenage girls when they quickly realized that few guys would live up to his standard of being way hot, too cool and sensitive in that broody, sexy way. The Breakfast Club’s John Bender: To spend time with this smart-ass, whip-smart, degenerate-with-a-heart-of-gold, I would have followed him down the halls, through the ventilation ducts, across the ceiling panels — and right behind the bleachers. And you better believe he would’ve had my diamond earring.

Meg, always the voice of calm and reason to my torrents of reactionary mouthiness, pointed out that we did, in fact, have tons of logoed items from Duran Duran, The Cure, The Thompson Twins and Bananarama in our youth, but it’s different — the music industry has always been ahead of the curve in promoting its pop stars (think The Beatles).

All I’m saying is, movie star groupies and teenyboppers today have it easy: There are vast amounts of imprinted merchandise with which to express their affection for silver-screen boy toys. But for Lloyd Dobler and his ilk back in my heyday, not so much. To paraphrase a line from Say Anything: I gave him my heart, and I didn’t even get a pen.

Who was your teen crush? Do tell …

Cheers, and more next week!

– M


15 Comments

  1. Hillary Says:

    Clark Kent/Superman (Chris Reeve). He was my crush long before my teens … Super good guy that also flies, it doesn’t get any better for me!

    Tuesday February 16, 2010
  2. Michele Bell Says:

    Superman was cute (and charming!), but way too goody-goody for me. Give me a snarky misanthrope like Han Solo ANY day! ; )

    Tuesday February 16, 2010
  3. Kevin Hallaran Says:

    I’ll offer the male point of view by using four words: Kelly LeBrock. Weird Science. Love the blog, Michele — just wish you posted more often.

    Tuesday February 16, 2010
  4. Tom Bordenave Says:

    Male perspective again….Ursula Andress in Dr. No.
    Hey I’m old OK.

    Wednesday February 17, 2010
  5. Michele Bell Says:

    Ursula Andress is awesome! She was Honey Rider, if memory serves, and wore that now-famous bikini with the knife as she emerged from the ocean. Totally an iconic image! Thanks for posting, Tom!

    Wednesday February 17, 2010
  6. jill albers Says:

    I will have to say I am a fan of “Team Vampire” I am falling for the Pattinson thing oddly enough? I think it’s the strong silent type?

    Wednesday February 17, 2010
  7. Sharon Biernat Says:

    Illya Kuryakin in the “Man from Uncle”; european, sophisicated and very cool!

    Wednesday February 17, 2010
  8. Matt Browning Says:

    Teen crush definitely had to be on Alyssa Milano – but after Who’s the Boss of course!

    Matt Browning
    Surge Promotions

    Wednesday February 17, 2010
  9. Michele Bell Says:

    So you were a “Charmed” guy, Matt? ; ) Thanks for posting!!!

    Wednesday February 17, 2010
  10. Ed Koehler Says:

    Hey guys, are we not remembering Loni Anderson? The only reason why I watched WKRP.

    Thursday February 18, 2010
  11. Michele Bell Says:

    I loved Dr. Johnny Fever — such a rock star rebel!

    Thursday February 18, 2010
  12. Joe Says:

    Growing up in the 70s there was only one babe, Maureen McCormick, aka Marcia Brady.

    Monday February 22, 2010
  13. Michele Bell Says:

    She was WAY better than Eeyore-esque Jan — the sad wallflower! I watched The Brady Bunch & The Monkees every day after school. I loved the Monkees’ Micky Dolenz — the shady drummer, of course!!!

    Monday February 22, 2010
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    Friday May 11, 2012
  15. Mix Tapes: A Nostalgic Act Of Love Given A 21st Century Update Says:

    [...] I remember spending hours working out the perfect playlist and trying to get the transition between songs to be as seamless as possible. Not an easy task when you are under constant threat of your tape getting chewed up (I had a particularly heinous tape recorder). Oh the joys of tape recorders! As you can probably tell, I was more than happy when I could make my mixes on CD and even better when I could just create a playlist on my iPod and upload. As far as I am concerned, tapes belong in the museum, cuddled up with the dinosaurs. Lloyd Dobler: Ambassador of the mix tape and proof that they work Img Source [...]

    Thursday November 1, 2012

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