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Counselor Senior Editor Michele Bell's slanted view of the world.

What’s New? Pussycats!

Filed under: Fun, Personal

Hi Everyone!

First, I’d like to thank the uniquely loony Ron Ball, who put down his cocktail shaker long enough to be a guest-blogger for me when I was on vacation. He did a fabulous job and was as deliciously politically incorrect as you would expect from the man who — if you were casting the role of “saucy salesman” — would get a first call back.

Next, as was mentioned on the ASI Radio Show this morning, I became the pet mom of two kittens on Sunday. I’ve always loved animals (which also explains my affinity for many of you!) considerably more than most people — as my mother is quick to point out — and have always been a cat person. I get their independent nature and world-weary haughtiness.

I decided that this would be the perfect time to adopt two kittens, as my travel schedule isn’t so crazy. So I went to a cat shelter near my home with the intent of walking in with checkbook in hand and walking out with two new pets. Oh, how things have changed since I last adopted nearly two decades ago.

For starters, I had to fill out a four-page application, in which I had to provide three character references, agree to no major lifestyle changes (a move, a baby, a stint in rehab…) and allow a representative of the shelter to inspect my home (time to stash the Grey Goose bottles!). Additionally, if I rented a home or lived with someone, both the owner of the property and my husband/roommate would each have to sign a notarized letter saying they approved of the kittens moving in. I then had to take a test, proving that I was capable of being a good pet “guardian.” Seriously, I think I’m only one physical and a set of financials short of being able to get a child from China — the process was that extensive.

After a week’s wait I learned I was “approved” and that I could pick the kittens up on Sunday. Realizing I had nothing prepared and fearing that KPS (Kitten Protective Services) would come throw the net over me, I headed to PetSmart, where I promptly spent $300 on every sort of toy, plush bed, gourmet food and luxe kitty litter you can imagine. My mother spoiled me, so of course this is learned behavior (which would account for my unyielding sense of entitlement and inability to process the word “no”) I intend to pass along. In a day, these kittens went from shelter life to living in the lap of luxury at the feline Four Seasons.

What I have not given them yet is names, because I’m hoping for something more clever than what I’ve named previous pets: Frisky, Spunky, Snuggles, Cuddles, Sprinkles and Muppet. (That sound you hear is Joe Haley sighing deeply and rolling his eyes…)

So, I’m asking for your help: Please send me suggestions to name my kittens! At eight weeks old, the male is 5 lbs. and the female is 4 lbs. — they’re so little they don’t meow yet … they squeak! If I select the names you enter, you’ll win a $100 American Express gift card. Some suggestions so far: Starbuck & Apollo (from Battlestar Galactica), Sawyer & Sayid (from Lost) and Buffy & Angel (from Joss Whedon’s fabulous shows). As Joe Haley just said, my “Nerd Herd” is certainly chiming in! ; )

Also, since it’s been a while since I’ve been a cat parent, please do send me any and all cool and cute ad specialties you’ve come across for kitties. I’m now one of those people again — who show pictures of their cats when others produce shots of their children.

My name is Michele, and I’m a crazy cat lady.



  1. Frank “the closer” Stepanski Says:

    How about jimmy and jenny?

    Tuesday September 16, 2008
  2. Frank “the closer” Stepanski Says:

    or yin and yang?

    Tuesday September 16, 2008
  3. Roger Burnett Says:

    Darling….how could they NOT be Joanie and Chachi?

    Wednesday September 17, 2008
  4. Cindy Jorgenson Says:

    Dolce & Gabbana, Prada & Chanel, or Grey & Goose
    All of our favorite things. :)

    Wednesday September 17, 2008
  5. Kathy Huston Says:

    Don’t worry Michele; we’ll be calling Joe “Sprinkles” soon.

    Wednesday September 17, 2008
  6. vin diesel Says:

    how about “jim beam” and “tanqueray”. bottoms up!

    Thursday September 18, 2008
  7. Murray Siegel Says:

    You live in Philly, so you should follow Rocky Balboa’s cue and call them “Cuff” and “Link.”

    Thursday September 18, 2008
  8. Dice Clay Says:

    “Zuzu Pedals” and “Johnny Crunch”

    whaddya think, snappa head?

    Friday September 19, 2008
  9. Vin D Says:

    since they are brother and sister, how about “Yorick” and “Hero”? yep, more nerdy references, this time of the comic book genre.

    Saturday September 20, 2008
  10. Donald Wright Says:

    What about Ari and lloyd

    Monday September 22, 2008
  11. Michele Bell Says:

    Hi Everyone! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the suggestions!!! Keep them coming and the emphasis on alcohol and pop culture references are cracking me up! ; )

    Monday September 22, 2008
  12. Tom Bordenave Says:

    I think Mutt & Jeff.

    Monday September 22, 2008
  13. mrs. ball Says:

    floyd and gracie

    Monday September 22, 2008
  14. Jay Farquhar Says:

    Ring and Rang.
    Goes with Bell

    Wednesday September 24, 2008
  15. Lauren Fox Says:

    How about Tom and Geri (of course spelled the female version, short for Geraldine)?

    Thursday September 25, 2008
  16. Lisa Horn Says:

    Carrie and Mr. Big, or you can always go with the classic Cleopatra and Mark Antony…

    Monday September 29, 2008
  17. Alison Minnich Says:

    Fred & Ethel or Ricky & Lucy OR Ike & Tina!

    Tuesday September 30, 2008

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