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Counselor Senior Editor Michele Bell's slanted view of the world.

No Tools in this Shed

Filed under: Fun, Personal

One of the questions I get asked most often from people in the industry, second only to the ever-popular, “You work for ASI?… Seriously???,” is “So, what’s Tim Andrews really like?”

Maybe because people are accustomed to those holding the title of president or CEO at a company being aloof and unapproachable, many assume Tim is like that too. Well, if my employment at ASI (as well as Ron Ball’s & Christian Brandt’s, for that matter) isn’t proof enough of Tim’s sense of humor, I’m here to tell you — if you haven’t met him yet or don’t know him well — he’s a lot funnier and down-to-Earth than you’d think. Much like Jon Stewart (who I’ve decided is indeed the sexiest man alive), Tim’s got a whip-smart, razor-sharp wit, with hearty sides of snark and self-deprecation thrown in for good measure. He loves his Grey Goose chilled, his jokes racy and — as the Supreme Ruler of Michele World — I bestow upon him one of my highest compliments: He’s not a tool.

Case in point: For my 10-year anniversary at ASI as one of its editors, Tim, Rich Fairfied (my boss and the senior vice president/publisher) and Joe Haley (the managing editor) crafted a wickedly witty list for my benefit, which I will share with you now. Some of the funniest entries — including numbers 12 & 6 — were contributed by Tim.

The Top 15 Comments We’ll Never Hear from Michele Bell:  

15. “Rich always has the best ideas — and they’re certainly never ‘cockamamie.’ “

14. “No, really, two drinks are my limit.”

13. “Is there a church somewhere near the convention center? I don’t want to miss Mass…”

12. “How can we not have Tim Andrews and Matthew Cohn on Counselor‘s ‘Power 50’ list??? That’s just crazy!”

11.  “Damn these stilettos! Someone give me a nice, sensible pair of flats.”

10.  “Dan Townes and I met for one cocktail, then called it an early night.”

  9.  “On second thought, ya know — George W. Bush is doing a pretty swell job.”

  8. “The Rolling Stones are so overrated.”

  7. ” Do I have to interview Philippe Varnier, the chairman of Polyconcept, again? His French accent is so damn annoying.”

  6. “Contrary to popular belief, the industry does not revolve around me.”

  5. “Go ahead and edit my articles however you want; I really don’t mind.”

  4. “Michael Bernstein… Craig Nadel… I really don’t think they’re all that impressive.”

  3. “Oh, please, please, please… can I please go back to China this year???”

  2. “It’s 7:00 a.m. Where is everyone? Am I the only one ready to work?”

  1. “If I could marry a man with Ron Ball’s sensitivity, panache and fashion sense, I’d be the happiest girl in the world!”

Speaking of Mr. Ball, everyone’s favorite sales rep and ASI character-in-residence, he’s celebrating his 30th anniversary with the company this month. To laud the man whose deliciously irreverent and infamous faux pas launched a thousand H.R. memos, ASI is throwing a party in his honor next Thursday night at a really fun local bar. I, of course, will be there — with camera in hand — to document all the incriminating moments to post for public consumption.

Can. Not. Wait.

More next week!

— Michele 


  1. Berzerker Says:

    13. “Is there a church somewhere near the convention center? I don’t want to miss Mass…”


    Monday February 25, 2008
  2. Tim Andrews Says:

    Yes, No. 13 was mine too. I’m disappointed Michele left out the words on a little plaque I gave her last year for her office door!

    Wednesday February 27, 2008
  3. Michele Bell Says:

    LOL! The plaque says, “I live in my own little world, but it’s okay — they know me there.”

    Michele World is a fun place — it’s always sunny and there’s never “last call.” ; )

    Thursday February 28, 2008
  4. michaelkemsons Says:

    hi grant i dont normaly give it out but here is the site
    filling address , they have a wealth of knowledge ,just say micky k said you would sort him out

    Saturday June 16, 2012

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